Drawing The Line

It worked so great for bread, so why not slice up airport security lines?

Travelers at Midway Airport zipped through security lines in five minutes or less Thursday morning, with many becoming instant fans of a new classification system that made getting through the airport security more bearable...

New signs, color-coded like those at ski resorts that warn of the difficulty level of slopes, are directing passengers to one of three lines—a green circle for beginners, a blue square for intermediate travelers and a black diamond for advanced passengers. Travelers pick the line that fits their experience level, or security workers direct them to the appropriate one.

Security lines are one of the places where any latent misanthropy in my soul begins to bubble and froth, for how often I must stand in dumbfounded wonderment as some daft passenger, who having failed to utilize the previous 20 minutes in line to do anything other than be loud, tries ineptly to remove simultaneously his shoes, belt, and the doodads in his pockets while arguing with the security personnel about whether or not he can take his Big Gulp with him.

Nonetheless, I’d probably act the same way as the fellow pictured in the article and make for the shortest line, regardless of its label and the company in its keep.