Liveblogging the First Presidential Debate

After about 15 minutes watching the debate alone and talking to myself, I decided to grab my laptop and blog my outbursts. Enjoy.

  • (10:37) And the debate ends with the ceremonial presentation of the wives.
  • (10:29) The world will no doubt react with shock when hearing of Obama's reassertion that America is the greatest country.
  • 10:27) Obama outlines America's current vulnerabilities as terrorists double-check that the Tivo is in fact recording.
  • (10:24) When will someone make these pumps less painful--the heels are killing me!
  • (10:18) Unlike Jason Bourne, whose eyes were gray and aided his ability to perform missions incognito, Putin has KGB written in his eyes, which plagued him his entire career.
  • (10:15) Judging by the occasional laughter, it would seem the audience favors McCain.
  • (10:09) After Obama claims that Henry Kissinger believes in direct diplomacy, McCain scribbles a note reminding himself to kill Henry Kissinger.
  • (10:08) McCain thinks negotiating with Iran without preconditions is evil and dangerous. Replace "negotiating with Iran" with "going on a blind date" and we are in full agreement.
  • (10:04) McCain says he'd like to form a "League of Democracies" and impose sanctions on Iran's economy, which he describes as already being "lousy." Take that, poor people of Iran!
  • (10:00) Two candidates for the Presidency of the United States compare bracelets.
  • (9:55) Tomato, tomahto. Potato, Potahto. Pakistan, Pahkistan. Ah, chocolate strawberry!
  • (9:53) McCain soberly recounts the "lessons of history" learned from Charlie Wilson's War.
  • (9:52) How can something as innocent-sounding as "poppies" be such a critical national security issue? Soon we'll be hearing of the need to take down rogue snozzberry growers.
  • (9:44) McCain looks petty by ignoring Obama whenever he appeases Lehrer and tries to address McCain personally.
  • (9:42) Perhaps it's the angle of the podiums or the cameras, but whenever the candidates are shown side by side in split-screen, they're always facing a quarter turn away from each other, as if each were afraid the other might copy his notes.
  • (9:37) Obama said "orgy" in a presidential debate. Can he do that?
  • (9:35) McCain: He got plans, too.
  • (9:25) Obama's plan will have cars being built in Ohio and Michigan, ignoring the fact that nobody likes cars built in Ohio and Michigan.
  • (9:22) English professors everywhere sit in awe as McCain uses correctly the verb "festoon."
  • (9:20) McCain looks sheepish when Obama notes correctly that although corporate tax rates are high in the US, effective corporate tax rates are quite lower.
  • (9:16) McCain tells us that he was known in the Senate as "The Sheriff," not "Miss Congeniality." Checking his Senate bio reveals he was also nominated for the title of "Prince Pugnacious Pants" two years in a row.
  • (9:13) McCain assures us that he has a pen, enraging the pencil lobby.
  • (9:12) McCain says America is the "greatest exporter." Well, Germany is the largest exporter, but I guess their exports are just good, not great.
  • (9:10) Lehrer's fixation on getting the candidates to address each other reminds me of a marriage counseling session: "Now, tell him what you just told me."
  • (9:09) Both candidates saw the credit crisis coming. I trust that since they did not use this prescience to prevent this crisis, they at least made millions shorting the market.
  • (9:08) McCain, when asked if he will vote for the bailout plan, says "I hope so," and then when Lehrer presses him further, says "sure...sure." Well count my confidence as inspired!
  • (9:05) McCain opens his remarks by thanking "Jim and everybody," mentioning Ted Kennedy is in the hospital, and thanking the University of Mississippi for hosting. Odd juxtaposition.
  • (9:04) Alert squabbling economists, for the debate is over: George Bush caused the credit crisis.
  • (9:02) Obama says that all the attention on the crisis has been focused on Wall Street, not Main Street. I don't live on either street so--oh, it's the metonymy stupid!
  • (9:01) Obama grabs McCain's forearm in the opening handshake, asserting his dominance.  Dog trainers everywhere agree that this will best for both in the long run.