You Spin Me Right Round Baby

Today walking to my car I approached the crosswalk of death and saw blue lights flashing and two damaged vehicles pulled to the side of the road. As the light signaled me to cross, I took some pleasure in the thought that perhaps the drivers' self-destructive turn would be my salvation, much like an Indian might have felt watching the cavalry rushing back east in 1861. This thought, however, would ironically nearly foment by doom by reducing my usual eagle-like acuity. Just as I stepped foot on the concrete median, someone ran a seconds-old red light and made a new record for "Times Jeff Has Almost Been Maimed by Woman Driving SUV (3)."