The Pineapple Express Imu Pig Roast

Ladies, Gentlemen, The Power Brokers are at it again:

  • What: The Pineapple Express Imu Pig Roast
  • Who: Pious People Pining for Pig - Bring Drinks and an Appetite
  • Where:  Jon and Josh's House in Nyamirambo
  • When: Saturday @ 3:30
  • How: On the Winds of Fate

In Hawaiian mythology, Lono is a god who existed before the world was created. One day he descended on a rainbow to the earth and made the goddess Laka his bride. Since that day long ago, he has been worshiped as a god of fertility, music, and most importantly, agriculture.  Farmers would through the ages pray to Lono for the rains necessary to sustain their harvest. But Lono was not always pleased with their piety, and the rains would not come, and the parched earth would crack apart and reveal the wounds of his wroth.

It was in one of these wounds that the first imu was formed.  In the gathering darkness of evening, food was bundled in banana leaves, lowered into the divide, and covered with earth in an attempt to appease Lono.  During the night, if Lono was satisfied by their supplications, he would heat the very earth with a long exhalation of his hot breath. The next day, the people would unearth their offerings and discover the mighty feast Lono had steamed under the surface. At the conclusion of this feast, Lono would again breathe deeply, this time inhaling all the moisture-rich air from across the ocean, and blowing it across the Hawaiian Islands where it would condense into drenching rains. So great would his breath sometimes be that the wind and rain would reach even faraway lands. We know this phenomenon today as the Pineapple Express.

Please join us as we in Kigali do our part to usher in the cleansing rains of the new season. On Friday evening we shall bundle in banana leaves a newly-slaughtered portly pig and bury him in a freshly-dug imu. During the night we shall slumber, and during the day we shall engage in ritualistic motopolo battle to honor the warrior god Kū. At the end of the day, if we have done well in our endeavors, we shall unearth a feast fit for the gods, which is roughly equivalent to a feast fit for 75 people. Lono will then inhale, and purifying water shall strip from the air the dust of the ground from which we were all formed.

Yours Porcinely,

The Power Brokers of Kigali