Liveblogging the 2012 Presidential Debates - Colorado

8:57: Anticipation mounts as over ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND viewers join me on the livestream. 8:59: Which no longer works.

9:00: Am now watching on my digital antenna-powered TV, which seems low-tech by comparison.

9:01: It's working again!

9:03: Specifics, says Jim Lehrer, which my autocorrect wants to change to Fuehrer.

9:05: Obama wishes his wife a happy 20th anniversary.

9:06: Eying his adversary, Mitt wishes Ann a happy 21st wedding jubilee spectacular.

9:09: Energy sources of the future can apparently be found in the idyllic Dutch countryside.

9:11: Unlike four years ago, Mitt and Barack have no problem addressing each other like the wealthy gentlemen they are.

9:12: Mitt: You are no oil baron, sir!

9:16: Romney said he was not going to add to the deficit, so if a study says his plan would add to the deficit, then he wouldn't do it. Ergo duh!

9:20: Romney speaks of jobs as if they were dying babes crying out for salvation.

9:24: After both candidates' treatment of Lehrer no discussion of their thoughts on bullying will be needed.

9:27: The Chinese are funding Big Bird.

9:30: 'Hold on,' says Obama to Lehrer, 'my preamble alone is two minutes.'

9:34: Romney doesn't want to go down the path to Spain, thousands of miles of which are underwater. One presumes.

9:36: My elementary textbooks were relics of the Cold War and yet witness my wit, Mr. President!

9:43: Romney gently nudges senior citizens off to bed.

9:46: Obama speaks directly to those of us born in 1957-58.

9:50: In a breathtaking political breakthrough, Lehrer gets the candidates to agree that they disagree.

9:58: You killed those crying babes, Mr. President.

9:59: Periodically Obama remembers his coaching to address me directly and I giggle just a little.

10:07: A sound emits from backstage and shatters the record for 'most interesting thing about this debate.'

10:11: Lehrer hopes to silence rude candidates by fluttering and closing his eyelids.

10:13: The genius of America is the Enlightenment.

10:16: We are all children of the same god. His name is Ten'klitao, and he cares for us deeply.

10:25: If you're wondering why this liveblog isn't as good this go-around: garbage in, garbage out.